I went to Burton Chase Park this noon for a nice walk and reading.
I was moving my waist to get some exercise while reading, obviously this action attracted someone.
He walked to me, and asked: "are you Japanese?"
"No, I'm Chinese." I smiled.
"Oh, you are very beautiful."
"Thanks."
Since I didn't wear my glasses, I cannot know what his face was like when he heard I'm Chinese. He didn't say anything more, just walked away. And I moved my eyes back to my book.
This is the 3rd time or probably 4th time I've been asked "are you Japanese" since I got back to LA on late August. Whenever this happens, it reminds me how I reacted the first time when some CHINESE mistaking me as Japanese.
Back to my first year in USC, that was on a night of Visions and Voices event. After my friend introduced me to a group of Chinese students, a girl said to me: "Oh, I thought you are Japanese or Korean since you are wearing like this". I could feel the dislike/despise from her voice and her eyes, and I felt humiliated. At that time I even don't know where this humiliation is from. Is it because she thinks I am the "inferior" Japanese/Korean, and I think I should get affirmation of the "superior" Chinese? Perhaps so, but isn't this ridiculous? Are Chinese really superior?
Today this WHITE man did the same thing, but I don't feel humiliated anymore. I smiled, thanked his nice words. I wasn't wearing some clothes very Japanese, just regular T-shirt and shorts, but he still asked me "are you Japanese". I cannot see his face clearly, I didn't talk to him much, I cannot figure out what he was thinking. Perhaps he watched too much TV depicting how Chinese looks like, perhaps he has never been to China, perhaps he got all the impression of China from the 1960s, perhaps he thought that Japanese are more urbanized than Chinese, perhaps he thought mistaking a Chinese with Japanese is fine but the opposite is not, perhaps he is just trying to not humiliate me even he made a mistake. These are all just guess, but who cares that much.
Why is our confidence so low? why are we so defensive when we are mistaken as the "inferior" we defined. Are they really the inferior? Are you hiding from the fact that you are indeed the inferior?
1 comment:
i don't want to be categorized into any group, nationality, school, major etc. but it's hard to avoid as people like to make quick, and convenient judgment. so i train myself to ignore their judgment, a bit egotistic and arrogant, but works when you want to be just yourself.
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