After the crazy week

Lots of things happened during last week. It was kind of crazy, but I didn't feel bad or too exhausted, since I like being occupied. -____________-

I like to call myself energetic, not normally energetic, but super energetic. Someone call me restless, I think that's probably the right word, since my English still sucks.. XD

If you ask me what I'm afraid of, I think the answer is probably if some day I totally understand the whole world. Then I will feel soooo bored and probably I will kill myself. But luckily, I'm not immortal, so this could not happen.

Sometimes I cannot understand myself. I used to be lazy as well, lazy to go out, lazy to study, lazy to try new things. Or, probably it's not just because of laziness, but also being afraid of things unknown and not confident enough. My dad used to push me to get a minor when I was in college, but I refused, and the reason is because I thought I could not handle two subjects in Tsinghua. But now when I think of my college life, I find myself do have extra time to do other things. I wasted them by killing them with games and movies (relaxing with games and movies is good, but if you are doing them just because you have nothing else to do, then that's wasting of time).

Then I went abroad, and I became more and more eager to search for new things. I don't know what exatcly caused this. Probably one of the reasons is that I finished the 6000-lines project which I never thought I could make it during the first crazy semester in USC. After that, I felt more and more confident and found myself more and more extra time. At that time, my restless spirit began to rise, I need new&meaningful things to occupy my extra time, not just games and movies, and not sleeping. Then I took an economics course and I planned myself an east coast trip. My dad was surprised when he heard me that I was going to east coast by myself. I admit I was kind of nervous as well since I've never done these kind of things before. I was always afraid that I could get lost if traveling alone in an unfamiliar city.

But now I understand something important, even if you may get lost, you may fail, the most important thing is not you succeed, but you tried, and tried with all your effort&energy.

I told one of my friends what my life should be like: I should be always climbing, there can be both upward way and downward way in my way, and I'm not afraid to try them both. I should never stop at one point just because it's comfortable&safe enough for me or it's risky to go onto the other way unknown.